More Poetic, Grief‑Tinged

 Where the Mind Wanders When the World Feels Off‑Balance

Holding It Together on a Tired Day

I finished my last deliveries today, and one stop had me loading groceries while someone’s dealer lingered out front. It wasn’t danger exactly — just that uncomfortable hum in the air that makes you want to get the job done and move on. I carried that feeling into my dog walk, where my mind wandered back to James. How he died. How I don’t walk with him anymore because he’s gone. How grief sneaks up sideways, even years later, even on a random afternoon.

Somewhere in that thinking, I found myself wishing I’d given more grace to the men’s shed guys, even when they go on about cannabis and whatever else. Word order, busy minds, tired minds — it all reveals what’s going on inside a person. People make problems just to sell you problems. And when you’re running on a sleepless night, it’s easy to see everything through the breach and bracket of your own exhaustion.

But the walk itself was good. The dog’s dirt‑bag bag was full of bags — too full to clip shut — but I managed to hold it together with one hand while keeping the latch from popping open. A tiny victory, but a victory all the same.

Kim made it home safe, and I’m thankful for her. For her love, her steadiness, the work she does in my life without ever making a show of it. She’s tired too, but she’s wonderful. Full stop. Period.

We’ve got family supper later, and I’m looking forward to it. A simple end to a strange day — discomfort, memory, grief, gratitude, and the small relief of knowing the people you love made it home.

Some days you just hold the bag shut and keep walking.

i get my last deliveries done and a customer seem to have there drug dealer out front while i loaded groceries to there house. it was a bit uncomfortable t say the least. thought on my dog walk how james died and how i should of given more grace to the men shed even if they talk cannibus i look at the breach and bracket of it all and sort of see word order- working busy reviel whats in your mind in a life time easier to make problems to sell you problems) [busy wouldnd't til illigetmate elcection is not consent to my ligetimate problem] the phenomon is that im tired sleepless night and lost a friend in grace and good intention. laufghing with sentence or laughing at sentence with my lost friends story. i don't walk with him any more hes dead. such is the men shed is.... the walk was good, the dirt bag bags was full of bags and to full to clip shut but i mananged to hold it together to keep it latched.... kim made it home safe im thnakful for her and her sense of love. full stop period. and the work she does in my life.. wonderful lady... she is tire and we are going to familyh supper later.. looking forward to family supper. write blog post for my blog