A dog walk, a restless night, and the strange ways a mind tries to settle.
Dog Walks, Busy Brains, and Strange Nights
The dog and I went for a walk to the park this morning. I was hoping she’d do her dog dirt by the Mormon church so I could toss it in the bin and keep going, but she didn’t. So no second lap. I kept thinking she’d save it for the city side, but nope — nothing. Just me, the dog, and the quiet disappointment of carrying an empty bag.
So I snapped a photo, took a breath, and kept walking. Another little adventure with Dixie.
Last night was a whole different story. My brain was running wild — like I was collared to the temple by the neck chain, dragged into thoughts I didn’t want, didn’t consent to, didn’t ask for. Word order all scrambled, meanings twisting around each other. I couldn’t shut my busy busy brain off until three or four in the morning. Eventually I just handed the whole mess over to the dog, like, “Here, you take it. I’m done.”
Five hours of sleep, maybe. Listening to a book until I drifted. And somewhere in there, memories of that young Mormon kid at Save-On picking out my groceries, making comments that hit wrong — bigoted, sexist, fascist vibes — like he wanted to launch me instead of help me. It stuck with me longer than it should have. I didn’t want any part of that energy, so I drowned it out with Mamma Mia and more books, arguing in my head with the greed and corruption of fiction turning into non-fiction.
Didn’t want to see any of it. Didn’t want to feel any of it. So I left that illegitimate election of thoughts behind and tried to dream my way back to something real.
I don’t know why anyone would start their brain at twenty‑five. I didn’t start mine until I was twenty‑three and done post‑secondary. But somehow it all happens anyway. A peace child can still make someone smile, even on the weird days.
And today, at least, I got a walk with my dog. Sometimes that’s enough to reset the whole system.
ai prompts for my blog.... to get it to write my thoughts....dog and i go for a walk to the park. i was hoping the dog would do her do dirt in the mormon church she didn't so i didn't do a second lap but she didn't it ended up thinking it would be on the city and id put it in the bin but she never. so then i snap a photo and get walking on an adventure. last night was lap thinking i was collarsed to the temple by collar and neck chain.... kept saying i don't concent to the name and number being the context to textual on cum lauded to septitism but such is life i could't shut my busy busy brain off till 3-4 ish and i gave my busy busy brain to the dog. such is my word order and order of words i have to work today got another five hours of sleep listenign to a book. ive read books this young mormon picked out my drivers at save on foods and made some mystongies bigot fascist sexist like i wanted to abort instead of launch. i waws sort of up set and listen to mamma mia for hours and books. argueing with a unfetter corrupt greed of fiction become non fiction... didn't weant to see any or ever bit of it. so i left this illigetmate ellection to my ligetimat reason for draeming my busy brain.. i don't know why anyone who would start there brain at 25 but i wouldn't start m brain til my inner self was 23 done post secondary. how did it happen.... a peace child,.. could often make some one smile... write a bog and kept it as close to possible to my words

Cheering for you Nigel π
ReplyDeleteHave a good day …. C